Things happen. Life is like the Saw rollercoaster at Thorpe Park. It twists, it turns, it’s fun, it’s terrifying, it takes you up and up until you feel like you can touch the sky, then sends you plummeting towards the ground. It makes your head spin, your stomach turn, it makes you scream and smile… hopefully it doesn’t involve creepy puppets on tricycles though. That would just be weird.
I’m not just here to make terrible analogies about life and the Saw rollercoaster though. Life often throws you a curve ball. You can plan and plan for months in advance. You can try and do risk assessments of your own life, you can have a plan B for every event, but it’s the things you don’t plan for that crop up and therefore you just have to carry on.
I have a phobia of driving. I think I could probably class it as a phobia by now. Completely irrational since I’m actually not a bad driver; I’m safe, sensible and know how to use my indicators. However, people who don’t have a phobia that can induce a anxiety attack don’t understand that saying “oh, you should really get on and do it. Just drive around a bit and you’ll get used to it” will NOT help.
The frustration is unreal – the frustration with myself that is. I want to be able to get in the car, start the engine and drive anywhere and everywhere without being paralysed by fear. I want be completely independent and self sufficient. Every time someone hears about my problem with driving I always get the same nagging response. I don’t know what response I would like, but I would like to not be made to feel like a burden.