How to | The Bluntest Birthday of Them All.

Indulge in self deprecation and have a blunt or sarcastic nature? Don’t care about birthdays and entertain an IDGAF attitude? Then this is the party idea for you.


This year I was totally stuck on a birthday party theme. Every year I throw a little birthday bash because I just love hosting events and giving myself a challenge. I love crafting things and creating an atmosphere, dressing the room and seeing my friends and family enjoy themselves. However, this year I had no idea what I wanted to do. I was going to do an elaborate Harry Potter theme, what with the play and Fantastic Beasts and my life long obsession with the original series and the HP universe, yet my heart just wasn’t in it.

The day was drawing closer and closer and I had scrapped every project I had started. Nothing seemed to fit with my mood or where I am in life right now. I was uninspired and lacking a muse until, completely off hand, a friend of mine said: “birthdays don’t really matter anyway. I don’t get why people make such a big deal. You shouldn’t need to make a big event just to get your friends together.”

That was it. Light bulb moment – an occasion that is so over itself, it just can’t be bothered. An event that tried so hard to be ‘pinterest’ and gave up half way through because, who cares?

If an existential crisis had a birthday party, this would be it.


Sophisticated Simplicity.


I went for fairy lights. Who doesn’t love fairy lights? People even put them in freakin’ jars and call them art these days (guilty as charged). If you are ever in need of making something look pretty but not overly ‘done’, then may I suggest an LED curtain?

Just strings and strings of the things, covering a wall. You can leave them hanging, double them up, scoop them into some kind of pattern. They looked magic, and all I did was unravel the little noodly, light up tentacles and hang them up. I got mine from amazon and it was around 6ftX4ft. It had a mains plug, which was fine, and actually was thoroughly effective.

A Banner That Explains Everything.

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The award for the least offensive saying with the most attitude goes to the word “whatever.” Ah, my favourite word as a teen. It was a throw away phrase used to end any string of conversation that I had no interest in or was bored of. Exactly in the same vain as this party then.

To make the banner I used a flag die to cut A5 pieces of glitter card (purchased for around £1-£2 a packet from shops such as The Works). You can also make your own stencil and draw/cut them free hand too… but I could use the die and I’m lazy sooo…

I then typed my phrase into a word document (pages on Mac) using the Arial Black font and blew up it up to around 257 pt, fitting about four letters per page. I then changed the fill options to just the outline, selecting the lightest colour possible.

I printed the letters out onto 200gsm black card and then cut them out free hand and attached one per flag. I used a hole punch to create evenly spaced holes in the top of each flag and used a thick, black ribbon to attach it all together.

The Table Labels.

Real, honest and a little on the rude side, these signs just tell it how it is.


I found a font online (Bakery by StereoType) that I kinda fell in love with. I’ve always loved calligraphy and cursive writing… Ok, so I’m a bit of a typography whore and a stationary hoarder, the secret is out. Anyway, the font you use is entirely up to you. You could have one already in Word that you think is perfect!

I switched up the colours and added a gradient in the app “Paint 2” on Mac. I saved each as a JPEG and printed them at around A5 size (or a touch smaller, but you do you) on 200gsm white card.

The Entertainment.

The music was inspired by my “whatever” years; pop rock and alternative, with a hint of 80s anthems and a sprinkling of the Spice Girls. Chilled, not too top 40 or dancey, but enough for a shoulder wiggle and unprecedented karaoke. My lot were all screeching singing along to the old Kaiser Chiefs classics and serenading one another with The Plain White Ts (dear future husband: if we have kids, the names Ruby and Delilah are off the cards.)


Games. Oh games. What’s a night in without a board game? Usually we crack out Articulate – a fast talking word description game, or Cranium – a team game that comprises of different categories: word puzzles, trivia, performing (charades-esque) and art (pictionary-esque). They always go down a treat.

However this time, to continue on with the IDGAF theme, we played a few rounds of Cards Against Humanity – a near the knuckle, fill in the blanks card game, that will have you sighing, laughing, crying or all three (not for the faint of heart or easily offended) and Obama Llama – the celebrity rhyming game which has teams trying to rhyme an action with a celebrities name (E.G Mary Berry drinks a sherry) through the medium of description, riddles and charades.

A Change in Tempo.


After a while, people start to flag and say their goodbyes in favour of their bed, late night re-runs or solitude. Let’s face it, socialising is hard and sometimes unpleasant. So a change in pace and atmosphere is most definitely welcome. Once the temperature had dropped, a few had left and we had started to wind down, I scurried outside, lit a fire in the fire pit, took out a few picnic blankets, pillows and bean bags and set up a smore station.

The final few of us curled up by the fire, with nothing but the stars above us, in the quiet, toasting marshmallows and chatting. It was calm, it was peaceful and honestly, it was my favourite part of the entire evening. I absolutely love just sitting around the fire with a few friends and reminiscing, talking about everything and anything. It’s cosy and it’s moments like that I live for. (Geez, can’t you tell I was a bloody scout.)

So that was theme this year: ‘Ugh. I don’t care.’

In all honesty, it was great to poke a bit of fun at everything. To just be silly and sarcastic and not care at all. It took me very little time to set up, maybe an hour or two (which, compared to the time it took last year, is nothing at all). It was great just to chill and go with the flow, to muck around and have a bit of light hearted fun. That’s all anyone really wants on their birthday.

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