Four Things You Should Never Be Sorry About

‘Ello my loves,

I hope you are all well and finding reasons to smile!


You may or may not have seen the video that has gone viral recently, made by and uploaded to the youtube channel My Pale Skin. Beauty and lifestyle vlogger and blogger Em has been uploading tutorials, showing her bare face for a while now, but this video throws light upon the hateful and hurtful comments made towards her and her natural beauty. If not, here it is, please give it a watch as it really brings the affect of words home:

It made my heart ache for her to see some of the responses she has received to sharing pictures of her bare face: acne and all, on social media. Acne and spots are something everyone gets. So many people deal with such a vast array of skin problems and I expect that very few of them actually enjoy dealing with them. Things as simple as acne can be uncomfortable, embarrassing and can take a sledgehammer to your self esteem… I should know, I have been there. Heck, I still am there. What got me even more is that when she covered up her “flaws” with make up, that was not acceptable either, that was “false advertising”. This is a lose/lose situation and it is all too real.

When will people realise there is no such thing as “perfection” and no such thing as “flawless” in a commercial sense? Everyone is flawed but it doesn’t stop you from being beautiful, brave, kind and strong. If the world could just see that and allow people the space and encouragement to learn to love themselves and embrace their flaws, rather than be ashamed of them, the 21st century would be a better time to be alive.

So, in light of this, here are four things I feel like you should never have to apologise for:

Traits you can not help.

Your skin colour, hair colour, eye colour. Your build, your height, your figure. Your gender, your sexuality, your heritage, your race. If it is not something you can help, you should not have to apologise for it. That includes illnesses beyond your control: physical or mental. These are also things you should never feel you have to apologise for. Whether it is cosmetic or depending on your chromosomes, each person has beauty in their own way. Why should anyone have to say sorry for being different or for being beautiful?

Being your own person.

You should never have to apologise for your beliefs, views and opinions as they are yours. So long as you are mindful and respectful of the culture and people that surround you and remember, as your opinion is solely yours, their opinion is solely theirs. No one thinks exactly the same things.

There is no harm in conversation, as knowledge is power, and sharing your views and listening and exploring others is a way to expand your mind and allow yourself to see and explore the world around you. There is so much love and fun past your doorstep, you should not be scared to go out and find it incase someone doesn’t like something you believe in.

Enjoying certain cultural things.

You are part of a sub-culture? Great! You’re really into top 40 music? Wonderful! You love black and white films? Marvellous! You prefer the 40’s era to now? Totally cool! You love wearing make up? Fabulous! You are allowed to like things that aren’t popular, the same way as you are allowed to follow the crowd.

If you like Starbucks and Instagram, that doesn’t make you a “hipster”, it means you like coffee and photographs. If you prefer wearing dark clothes, that doesn’t make you an “Emo” or “Goth”, it just means you prefer dark clothing. You fangirl too much? Join the club. It’s ok. You can like whatever you want to like. You don’t have to pigeon hole yourself or pretend to respond positively or negatively to something in popular culture because someone else thinks you should or because that is what is expected of you. Enjoy what you genuinely enjoy.

For being happy.

This one should seem obvious but there are, unfortunately, people who thrive on the unhappiness of others. If you enjoy spending time with certain people, spend time with them. If you don’t like doing something, don’t do it. If you enjoy a hobby, do it if you can. If you don’t like eating something, don’t eat it. If you don’t want to go somewhere, don’t go. If you enjoy your job, stick at it. If you have big dreams, keep dreaming. Don’t apologise for being happy in your own skin, surroundings and life.

Never apologise for being yourself and living your own life. It is important to be mindful and respectful to the best you can be, but not to your own detriment. 

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11 thoughts on “Four Things You Should Never Be Sorry About

  1. Paardje says:

    Reblogged this on Of Snail Mail, Books & Vanities and commented:
    This is why I’m sometimes scared for my daughter. I can only hope I can give her enough confidence and self-esteem to know that she is already perfect the way she is.

    Please read and comment on the original here.

    • Clumsy Koi Carp says:

      Words can be so hurtful at times and I’m not sure people realise just how powerful they can be! It’s not always easy to block out the nastiness but, in amongst it all, I think there will always be a community of kindness and bravery around to remind you just how wonderful being yourself is. Thank you for sharing!

  2. littleblackdogsa says:

    My daughter is 25 and has the same skin problems. Sometimes she will wear makeup, and others she wont. We recently visited a skin dermatologist who started her on medication, and I must admit that we are both able to see a difference in her face, skin and texture.
    People are cruel. Please never give up in believing in yourself! Always keep smiling and be happy. Nobody can take that away from you.

    • Clumsy Koi Carp says:

      Thank you!! I always try to see the positives and smile 🙂 I see a dermatologist too and am slowly beginning to see the difference too. I use all mineral based make up now, which helps as well. Thank you for your kind words! 🙂 x

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