Feeling old af…

What does ‘af’ even mean? Why?!

Ok Urban Dictionary. Let me have it. 

So it means “as f***”. What was so wrong with just saying ‘as’ and leaving that ‘as what’ up to interpretation? Why add the swears into the main stream? Why does that phrase even need abbreviating? Sucks all the fun out of letting the odd f’bomb slip if you ask me.

I keep hearing rumours of new slang words. As I walk past the groups of teenagers that think it is cool to hang around in shop doorways until the last bus, I hear random words spouting from them, thrown into sentences that don’t make any sense.

Words change. Language develops and dies. I get it.

But why was the word “cabbage” used as an adjective? WHO THINKS THESE THINGS UP?

Words can literally have their meanings turned on their head, such as the word “sick”… when did that actually start meaning “good”?

When did “piff” become a thing, and when did that even start meaning “good looking?” Who is responsible for that one? The only version I knew of the word was “pith” which is the gross, white, stringy bit on oranges.

One of my friends asked me what the hell “par” meant. “Par?” I asked, “are they playing golf?”

Apparently, “par” doesn’t mean getting your golf ball in the hole in the recommended amount of strokes anymore. Nowadays, it means you’re being dissed or insulted, or something bad is happening to you… riiight. OK. I’ll just take that for what it’s worth.

I used to be so on top of all the slang, the abbreviations, the text talk. Now I have absolutely no idea. Maybe because it made more sense in the nineties. Urban Dictionary is now my new best friend. It has explained all of the above to me so I shall be taking my new knowledge (and Google) out into the world with me.

The worst part is… not a single time have I heard these slang terms said with any hint of irony. When they were said, they were said from the heart.

Uh oh.

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